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Paramedics from Hell 1
From : Phil Arnold 16 May 95
Subj : Paramedics from hell
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Speaking of varicose veins, I remember once I was working in lovely
Somerville,MA, when I got a cal for a "man bleeding." When we got to
the address, there was no patient to be seen. I was about to clear
with dispatch, when my partner said "hey, look on the ground..."
There was a large PUDDLE of blood right outside the entrance to the
train station. And before you all say "damn your asian eyes", I'd
like to add that it was late evening and I was very tired. This was
not just a puddle, no - it was a trail of blood, winding down several
blocks. I followed the trail on foot, while my partner followed in
the truck, while the fire dept. followed in their truck, and the
police had gone to the "Dunky's" and told us they would come back.
This scene reminded me of one similar in the movie "Roxanne" - where
Steve Martin leads the entire fire dept. to a burning building on
foot.
Several blocks later, the trail leads to a house. We stop at the
front door, and marvel at the puddle that was there (guess the person
was looking for his keys). We didn't know WHY the person was
bleeding, so we waited for the cops to come back. Then we knocked on
the door - no answer. Finally the cops do a "forced entry" -
translation: they kicked the door in. More blood trails, leading down
a corridor and up several flights of stairs, which finally ends up to
a closed door. The police knock, and a male voice answers: "Who's
there?" After identifying themselves, they enter. Weopen the door to
find a 50-ish male, with varicose veins on both his legs. He
apparently nicked one of them on his ankle while leaving the train
station, and didn't feel it. I guess it happens quite often to him.
He looks down, and says "not again." By the way, there was a HUGE
puddle of blood near his feet, and a stream of blood shooting out of
the vein. For a brief second, this remindd me of a "monty Python"
sketch (you know the one). As I step past him to place a pressure
dressing on his leg, I slip on the puddle, and fall on my ass into
it. The firefighters (being the compassionate guys they are) start
laughing at me. The patient was nice enough to swivel his leg away
from me so that now the stream of blood is spraying one of the walls.
As my partner and I carried this man down several flights of stairs,
the firefighters kept laughing - until they found out that they had
to re-trace this patient's path and spray away all the blood on the
sidewalk (goddamn rubber-men). They stopped laughing then.
We transport the patient to the hospital, and the nurse at the triage
desk looks at me, and says "was he shot?" "No, it's just a varicose
vein." "Well, the bleeding must have stopped by now." and she move to
unwrap the dressing. "I wouldn't if I were you." "I know what I'm
doing." She unwraps the last of the gauze, and lifts the gauze
pad.... and a stream of blood shoots out and hits her in the face and
chest. It's times like these when I *love* my job.
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