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You might be from Tehachipi if...
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
| YOU MIGHT BE FROM TEHACHIPI IF... |
| A NIRVANAnet(tm) Infodose written by Barrelshifter |
| Distributed via the NIRVANAnet(tm) text file distribution network |
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
YOU MIGHT BE FROM TEHACHAPI IF....
Your front porch collapses and it kills more than six dogs.
You've ever used lard in bed.
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
You consider a six-pack of beer and a bug zapper quality
entertainment.
Less than half of the cars you own run.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before
telling the state trooper to kiss her ass.
Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and
seductive tongue gestures.
You've ever barbecued Spam on a grill.
The primary color of your car is "Bondo".
There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your house.
The rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front ones.
The diploma hanging in your den includes the words, "Trucking
Institute".
Your wife or mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a
high school sporting event.
The most common phrase heard at your family reunion is, "What the
hell are you looking at, shithead?".
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You've ever used a weedeater indoors.
You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an
opening on the lube rack.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You prominently display a souvenir from Graceland.
You think beef jerky and moon pies are two of the major food
groups.
You think Campho-Phenique is a miracle drug.
Your brother-in-law is your uncle.
You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all
time.
Your wife keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding picture was
taken.
Your lifetime ambition is to own a fireworks stand.
... Tehachapi ... Gesundheit.
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