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Spin and Martys Appalachian Christmas [GRITS 'Zine
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
X Spin and Martys Appalachian Christmas X
X Copyright 1990 by Scott C. Harbaugh X
X Feel free to post electronically X
X on any bulletin board.Hardcopy X
X reproduction without the authors X
X written permission is strictly X
X prohibited. X
X GRITS 'Zine X
X P.O. Box 779-153 X
X barefoot bay,fl X
X 32976 X
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Spin and Martys Appalachian Christmas
I remember when I was just a little girl of seven. Me and my brother,who
was a year younger than me,waited all year for christmas to come along.
We knew from all the other kids,and from our Sunday school,how important
Christmas was. We knew too that that Christmas would be extra special
because Mom had finally gotten approved for welfare.Why some of the other
kids had told me that someone called a social worker would come around
and see that every little boy or girl whos family was on welfare got at
least one present,we could hardly wait.
Our Father could hardly wait either,usally he would sleep to noon and
then go out and start drinking the fuel we used to cook with.He would
pour the juice through a sock and then mix it with Kool-Aid,he called it
his sterno sangria.Daddy was funny when he would drink it,at least most
of the time,except when he would make me go out to the barn and play
horsey.That allways made me so sore,and Daddy allways had such a funny
look on his face afterwords.He would stare off in space,as if he was looking
a million miles away,and let out a slow breath.Then he would say something
weird like "tighter than youre Mother,but looser than your brother".
We only had one book in our house,it was called the story of the Mickey
Mouse Club,and in it were pictures of two kids called Spin and Marty. Thats
why me and my brother were called Spin and Marty,even though those weren't
our real names.There was another picture in the book of a girl called Annette.
My dad loved to look at her,he said mom used to look just like Annete until
about there third anniversary,"once she turned fifteen",he would say,"She
lost those youthful looks of hers".But I don't think it was really her
fault that she wasn't pretty anymore,cause she worked so hard on our little
farm while daddy was drinkin his sangria.
Christmas kept creepin up on us,and exciting things started to happen,first
Momma finally got her first relief check.We had a big supper with real good
food,macaroni and cheese,right out of the box!!! And Daddy was real happy
cause Momma suprised him with a whole case of something called Mad Dog twenty-
twenty.Daddy drank a whole big bottle and threw up all over the living room,I
never laughed so hard before or since.Mama kissed him anyway though,and then
Momma and Daddy played horsey right there on the floor.We all slept on the
floor in the same room cause our house was so small,without even waitin for
me and Spin to go to sleep.
The next day Daddy had a headache,so first thing in the mornin he drank
some more mad dog,he drank so much he fell back to sleep after a while.And
while he was snorin away,and Mommma was out workin,a stranger came.
She was the most beutiful lady I had ever seen,and she smelled soooo sweet.
She said she was the social worker from town and wanted to sign us up for free
presents at Christmas.We told her to come sit in the house but once she saw
Daddy She kinda wrikled her nose,He had a big spot on his pants cause I think
he peed hisself again,so the place didn't smell too good.
When we got outside She asked, "Is that where everybody in your family
sleeps ?".
We told Her it was and then she started asking all kinda things,like did we
have water,where did we go to the bathroom,and stuff like that.We couldn't find
Momma,she must have been at the neighbors again.Her cousin Fred had farm right
next to us and she would go there to rest up when she got tired.People say
Marty looks just like Fred.
Anyhow it was when we showed her the barn that she acted real funny.In fact
once we told her about playing horsey it seemed like she was in a hurry to
leave.I didn't tell her,but the kids up on our hill had to do it,with there
Daddys,Uncles,whoever they were told to.But it seemed to bother this woman.
She got in her car and right as she closed the door she said,"Don't you worry
youre gonna have the greatest christmas ever,in a nice warm dry place too."
I didn't know what that meant,but I didn't care much either,as long as we
got our presents.
That afternoon Daddy was fixin to play horsey with Marty,he allready had the
linseed oil out and everything.But right as they were going to the barn a bunch
of police cars came screemin up to the house.They took Daddy away in one car,
and me and Marty away in another.And we drove all the way into town to the
police station.
It wasn't long before we were taken to a place called a foster home. The
people there were nice,and they liked to play horsey too.Me and my brother
layed in our new beds that night,neither of us had ever slept in a real bed
before,and wondered if we would still have a Christmas.After laying there
awake for an hour or two I finally fell asleep,and dreamed a funny dream;
Santa came to our new house all loaded with presents,but first we had to earn
them he said. By,of course,playing reindeer with him.
I guess I was crying when I woke up,the dream was pretty scary.When I looked
around,with my eyes all blurry,there was a funny looking man right in the room
with me and my brother.
He had on a grey suit that fit him perfectly,not too tight,not a wrinkle,it
fit too perfectly to be true,it hung of his body without even a crease. His
hair was jet black,and every hair was in its proper place.It was like his hair
was made of plastic,if you had tried to ruffle it I think my hand would of
just slipped off.He had teeth whiter than a newley hatched maggot,and each one
was straight as could be and they were all just the same distance apart.His
teeth showed through the strangest grin you ever saw,he grinned like nothing
could bother him,like if the house fell down it would fall down around him,and
he would still be standin calm as could be,and not as much as a single piece
of dust or dirt would dare land on him.To top it all off he was smokin' a jet
black pipe,and it had the sweetest smell,with just a touch of mustiness,like a
toadstool or something,that I had ever smelled in mylife.
Well he picked me up in one arm,and my brother in the other,and his eyes were
all twinkly,and he said very hushed like..
"Right now you two are probably the most wretched,pitifull children in the
whole world.Youre not old enough to know yet but you two have had the most
miserable life a human could have,why most people wouldn't treat their dog the
way you guys have been treated.One day you will grow up and realise just how
utterly shit filled your life has been.I wish I could do something but I can't,
not really.You two are in the grip of a huge cosmic jokester that wants only to
laugh at your misery,and since you are oh so human all I can do is to laugh
along with the joke.Yep your life is going to suck right up to the day you die,
and theres not a damn thing you can do except to say fuck it all and have a
good laugh about it. I don't know if you'll ever learn to do that,most people
don't,and youre both even dumber than average.But even I get to feeling jolly
this time of year so I'll tell you what I'm a gonna do,I'm gonna give you one
happy memory to look back on.I'm gonna put one bright kernal of corn into the
shit log you call a life."
And it was a good time we had.He took us to the mall,of course it was closed,
and all dark,but he took a little puff on his pipe,and blew the smoke into the
doorlock,and the whole place lit up,the door unlocked with a descive click,and
in we went.
We played with all the toys,and when we wanted to play in the video arcade he
blew a little smoke into the games coin slots.Just like magic a hundred credits
would be on the game.We played and played until early in the morning,when the
mall re-opened,and we had to leave,and it was true,thats the only happy memory
I have of growing up.
He was right about one thing,our lives were misreble,right up to the day the
saucers came.
Re-printed from:Strange Times on Planet Earth
Galaxy Wide Copyright 1999
Xist publishing inc.
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