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Star Fleet Academy Technical Manual
I must warn you about the content of this story and about
the low humour it contains. It is a *vicious* and perverse
spoof of STTNG (which I wrote)
j.v.
---------------------------------------
WARNING! - THE FOLLOWING STORY CONTAINS
BLK-HUMOR, RAPE, I-COPRO, S&M, B&D,
HETERO, LEZ, ETC...
If this is not for you - please skip the
remainder of this posting...
----------------------------------------
A Copious Account of The Bawdy
and Slightly Distasteful Adventures
of the Crew of the U.S.S. ENTERPLEASE
by J. Verhagen
"Captain", said Commader Beta, "we are receiving a high
priority distress call from the S.S. PENETRATION stationed
in the VEGASM quadrant. "Put it on screen", said Captain
Pickhard, eyeing the console. There was a crackle of static
- then a horrifying spectacle emerged. Commander Indira Tart
of the PENETRATION was in the midst of the fiery wreckage of
her bridge. Half the crew behind her were dead and she was
apparently tied down naked to her command chair - face
pressed against the camera. In the background, little indus-
trious green smurf-like creatures could be seen taking li-
berties with those females who still remained alive.
"HELP!", she silently voiced to the screen. A green hand
suddenly appeared, stroking her chin and an alien voice rang
out. "Mind if I use your mouth?" The screen went dark.
"We've lost it", said Beta adjusting the controls. The crew
sat for a moment contemplating the situation in chilly
silence. "What the devil do you suppose is going on up
there?", asked Captain Pickhard looking around. "Number
One?". "I don't know", said Command Biker - eyeing the
blank screen, "There seemed to be a lot of fire up there -
maybe there was a malfunction on their bridge." "Hmm..",
said Pickhard "But why would they send a high priority dis-
tress call for something like that?". "I think that we
should *not* investigate", ventured Blorff "- as this may
subject the crew to an unnecessary security risk!". "Y'know
number one", said Pickhard "for once I agree with Commander
Blorff - to respond to this would be simply ridiculous. A
bridge malfunction coupled with a typical wild deep-space
orgy *hardly* requires the assistance of a starship, let
alone the vaunted S.S. ENTERPLEASE!".
Biker was secretly sorry that the Captain did not decide to
investigate. He remembered the last time *he* tied Commander
I. Tart to a chair and was looking forward to their next
meeting. Just then, Counsellor Toy got up and walked to the
turbo-lift, accompanied by Doctor Cruiser. Toy was wearing a
proper skirt and knee-high socks and Biker stared, obscene
thoughts forming behind his kiss-ass grin as he contemplated
his next Holodreck fantasy. Dianna caught it and gave him a
positively wicked look, wiggling her girlish hips in merri-
ment. She loved commander Biker, as his thoughts were sooo
sliiimyyy. Beta looked puzzled at the entire exchange. In
fact, he looked puzzled about everything.
"Let's do it, Red!", said Toy pressing Doctor Cruiser
against a corner of the lift, one hand groping her through
her tight uniform. "What here???". Doctor Cruiser was
clearly nervous about the locale. "Why not?! - I know what a
hot bitch you are!", asserted Toy. "Don't you think I know
what goes on in your head? ... Last night you were fucking
Wusley and YOU WERE THINKIN' BOUT ME!". She licked up and
down the Doctor's face with a pink tongue, and took the
doctor's hand - bringing it up her own skirt. Confused, the
doctor began to stroke the hot mound between Dianna's thighs
and began to kiss her in return. Toy's puss was really get-
ting wet and she squeezed her legs against the insistent
pressure of the Doctor's stroking hand - her ruby red lips
opening into a wide "O" as she moaned. Cruiser grunted,
bringer her off with her hand, getting turned on by her ex-
pressions, her wet kisses, and by the proximity of her
writhing, sexy body.
Cat-o was down in the arbor, examining some flowers. She was
pissed off at O'Brian because he didn't show up for the
fuck-date they had planned. She was fuming. He was probably
at home watching some T.V. and here she was all alone,
dressed like a hooker, and horny as hell! She heard a noise
behind some bushes. "It's probably Wusley - the little
shit!", she thought. Sure enough, she could hear the odd
noises which suggested that he had probably already started
masturbating (presumably as he watched her). Wusley was no-
torious for his peeping. Apparently the holodreck wasn't
enough for him - he wanted some real action (besides his
mom). A sly grin crossed her petite face as she got a beau-
tiful but *extremely* wicked idea.
"Eat it, you sonofabitch - EAT IT!", barked Guinan as she
proferred her cunt to the sloppy ministrations of the Cap-
tain. She loved it - watching that bald head going up and
down between her legs, feeling his tongue buried deep inside
her dark pussy. "Be a good boy!", she reminded him. "Yes
mommy!", he answered -coming up for some air. "And don't
forget my ass", she barked.
Cat-o came back to the arbor a short while later, completely
dressed for the occasion. She had on knee-high leather
boots, a black bra, and some red panties. Her lithe body
flexed as she tested the whip against some dalias. "Oh
boy!", she heard Wus pant under his breath. She also heard a
much more pronounced stroking noise as he worked his cock
into some tissue paper. "Boy!, am I HORNY!", she mouthed in
low guttural tones as she rubbed the whip handle against her
clit, beginning to hump it with an exaggerated motion. "IM
SO HORNY!", she repeated. It really turned her on to be
watched.
Guinan was getting a horsey ride on the Captain's back.
Round and round the room they went - under Guinan's direc-
tion at the bridle. Every now and then she would lean over
to give him a randy smack on the buttocks. *Smack*, "Move
you fucker!", she ranted. "Move!" *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*.
"Yes mommy!", he answered, almost breathless from the pun-
ishment, but secretly *enjoying* every moment of it.
Cat-o went around the room, playing with her clit a few more
times before she pounced on the unfortunate Wusmeister.
"What the hell are you doing here?!?!", she demanded in mock
anger. "I-I-I I'm sor-r-ry", he stammered, looking down.
"You bastard!", she said eyes narrowing. She struck him
several times. "On your knees, WORM!", she yelled - striking
him again. His knees gave way like jello. "Lick it!", she
said - proferring her booted foot. He had no choice. Later,
she had him lie on the floor and used him as a toilet (but
that's another story). When she was done, she lead the poor
Wus down the corridor and booted him into holodrek 5. This
was the special one Blorff used for playing out his fan-
tasies. Like most Klingon warriors, his favourite fantasy
involved brutal anal rape at the hands of his warrior compa-
triots. She almost felt sorry for the little shit. After
all, an experience like that could possibly kill him.
Guinan was getting dressed. In the bathroom, the Captain was
lounging in a bathtub filled with dead fish. He just *loved*
slipping and sliding in that mass of slimy stuff. Guinan
didn't care to watch him make an idiot of himself and was
getting ready for her anal-fantasy date with Blorff. Later
on she knew Pickhard would probably slip into some of her
panty-hose, put on some make-up, and serenade O'Brian with
his ukelele. But that was better than Biker, she mused - as
his bathtub was full of *excrement*!
Cat-o was sad. She really wanted a fuck, and now Wus was
gone. She walked around the halls fingering her puss and
lashing the occasional passerby with her whip. Suddenly,
Beta Loomed up ahead. "Of Course!", she thought, straighten-
ing her hair. She approached him. "Are you *fully* function-
al?", she queried - lightly patting him under the chin with
the handle of the whip. "Might I ask in what way?", he re-
turned. "Oh YOU KNOW", she said using her left hand to ex-
pose her breasts. He countered, "I'm not quite sure I do".
She reached down and began to stroke his android organ. Sud-
denly she stopped and looked down. His pants had fallen to
the ground only to reveal .... nothing, nothing at all. She
looked closer. There was a label. "Made in Taiwan", it read.
"Shit!", she fumed, stalking off down the hall in search of
more prey.
Biker was really into Toy, especially now. She writhed un-
derneath him as he pumped away at her, occasionally taking
time out to rub the pink nubs of her Datazoid breasts. She
was ultra-horny - not to mention under the influence of some
serious Altarian drugs. Riker had never seen such a hot
bitch in his life. Once she was turned on she would do ABSO-
LUTELY ANYTHING. Tonight he was going to play out one of his
more vicious fantasies. This one involved his favourite
fucking place - The excrement filled bathtub. "Let's go into
the bathroom!", he suddenly said - a shit-eating grin form-
ing on his face. "In fact, let's go TOGETHER!".
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