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ST Old & New, no title
Filename: p.116
Category: Star Trek (tm) parodies
Title(s): (no title) (ST Old and New)
Author(s): Jay Smith
Newsgroup: The Data Factory BBS (compnect.uucp)
Poster: Dave Ratcliffe
Date posted: 1990 07 04 16:43:18 GMT
First date published: 1990 07 04 00:20:59
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Kirk: (entering the bridge) Amazing. What did they do to my
bridge?
Picard: YOU'RE bridge, Admiral?
Kirk: (contempt oozing) Sorry, Captain. Its a nice ship...who's
the white stiff?
Picard: This is Lt. Commander Data.
McCoy: Lord help us, they've made a better Vulcan.
Data: Hardly, sir. I am an android.
McCoy: Where's Spock? He's gotta see this.
Riker: Admiral Kirk! It is an honor to meet you, sir...I've studied
your career since I was a cadet...
Kirk: Thank you, Commander.
Riker: I particularly like the supplemental logs they published
after your death...the guide to babes in the Federation. I live
by it.
Kirk: Thank you, I think.
Picard: Number One...
Riker: And the Kobyashi Maru solution...fantastic. I tried it a
little different, though. I seduced the programmer.
Picard: NUMBER ONE...
Kirk: Put a cork in it, Baldy.
Picard: Er, um... (blushes pragmatically)
Scotty: (entering bridge) Admiral! Didya see wat they've dun ta
the berns? I canna believe it! An there's a BLIND man runnin' the
whole operation!
Picard: That would be Lt. LaForge.
Spock: Facinating.
Kirk: Mr Spock?
Spock: I'm just having a look at this android, Admiral.
Data: To be more precise: you are doing something I think is caled
"goosing" Please refrain from further ...//ooch//
Spock: "Facinating.
Kirk: Picard, we've got to talk...the Klingon?
Picard: Lt. Worf. A fine Officer.
Kirk: Yeah. Not exactly a bantu female, but...listen. I can't
help but be alarmed...
Picard: By?
Kirk: A blind man as Chief Engineer? A Klingon head of security?
Who's the brat at the helm?
Picard: Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher. (Crusher stands to rigid attention)
Kirk: Interesting crew assortment, Captain. Who's your Chief
Medical Officer? A Romulan Executioner? (on cue, Beverly Crusher
enters the bridge)
Kirk: Hellllooooo! (Hormones kick in)
Picard: This is Dr. Beverly Crusher.
Kirk: 'Crusher'?
Picard: Wesley's mother, yes.
Kirk: FIne boy, that Wesley...
S.O.V.
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