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Star Trek: The Pepsi Generation
Star Trek The Pepsi Generation
By Robert L. Lamothe
(Some where in the neutral zone,
aboard the Romulan Star Ship
P'tok. Sela is in the command
chair surrounded by her crew.
Her advisor enters
Tomar: Jolan Tru Commander.
Sela: Jolan Tru Tomar. What are the Preator's orders?
Tomar: The Preator is concerned Commander. Things have
been too quiet lately. He feels we should make
our presence known
Sela: It is too son to work against the Klingons again
and our attempt to conquer Vulcan has failed.
What would you suggest?
Tomar: Perhaps a show of strength would be in order, to
boost the morale of the crew. Might I suggest we
seek out the Enterprise? Victory against the
Federation flagship would be quite a coo.
Sela: A fools errand Tomar, we would travel millions of
light years to get there, be in violation of the
treaty and Picard would only talk us out of
attacking. No, set course for the Orion cluster
and let them know we are still active.
Tomar: Very good Commander. Jolan Tru
Sela: Jolan Tru
(Cut to space. Planets whirl and slide past our
view. Rear view of the Enterprise. Patrick Stewarts
voice says "Space, The Final Frontier. These are the
voyages of the Starship Enterprise, her continuing
mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out
new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where
no one has gone before." Credits roll by as various
views of the Enterprise are shown. Enterprise enters
warp with a flash, cut to commercial)
STAR TREK: THE RESTLESS GENERATION
Written by Robert L. Lamothe
Captains log 2654.1 Starfleet
Command has been monitoring a
signal from the planet El Adril
from a vessel recognized as from
the Children of Tamar, the Enterprise
has been ordered to investigate.
Picard: Mr. Data set course to El Adril. It seems the
Tamarians wish to communicate.
Data: Yes sir, course laid in. (pause) One question, sir.
Picard: What is it Mr. Data?
Data: We have already established communication with the
Tamarians, why would they wish us to meet them at
El Adril again?
Picard: Again? Are you suggesting we've done this before?
Data: Yes sir. You were kidnapped by the Tamarians and
placed with their captain on El Adril. Even though
Captain Dathan died you were able to learn enough
to communicate with Commander Tamak.
Picard: Are you absolutely certain of this?
Data: Yes, sir.
Picard: Shaka. Very well, then perhaps this would be a good
time to meet with the winners of the science fair.
Data: You have already done that sir.
Picard: Are you sure Mr. Data?
Data: Yes, sir. You were trapped in a turbo lift after the
Enterprise struck a Quantum filament. You assisted
the children from the lift before it gave way and
fell. Counselor Troi assumed command in your
absence and saved the ship.
Picard: Hmmm, yes, that does sound familiar now that you
mention it.
(Cut to turbo lift, Riker steps out with a big
grin on his face)
Picard: Welcome back, Number One. I trust you enjoyed your
stay on Risa.
Riker: Yes sir, and I brought back this game that I think
you are going to like.
Picard: I hope its not like that soft drink you brought
back last time, this ship was feuding for three
months over that one.
Riker: (smirking) Well more people seemed to like mine
best.
Data: Excuse me, sir.
Picard: I'll field this one, Mr. Data. Let me guess
Commander, this game of yours mind washes us and
almost causes us to turn the ship over to a group
of buttheads.
Riker: (confusion on his face) How did you know sir?
Picard: According to Mr. Data we seem to be doing the
same things over again.
Intercom: (Beverly's voice) Sick bay to bridge.
Picard: Picard here Dr. What can we do for you?
Intercom: I understand Commander Riker has just returned
from Risa, I'd like him to report for a physical.
Picard: Commander Riker had a physical 2 months ago.
Would you care to explain Dr.?
Intercom: When Will played host for Odan I discovered he
had, shall we say an embarrassing social
condition. It took me six weeks to get rid of it.
I'd like to make sure the Commander is healthy.
Picard: (to Riker) You and those alien women again.
Riker: (smirking)
Picard: Very well Dr. I'll send him down as soon as I can.
Picard out.
Worf: Captain I've received a subspace communique from
Star Fleet command. Ambassador Spock has been
located on Romulus. Should I contact the Klingon
High Council and request a cloaked ship?
Picard: Data?
Data: Already accomplished sir. We managed to thwart a
Romulan invasion, Sarek died and Spock chose to
remain on Romulus.
Picard: Assemble in my ready room, Mr. Worf I want you and
Commander LaForge to join us.
Worf: Yes sir.
(Cut to ready room, Picard, Riker, Data, LaForge,
Worf and Counselor Troi are seated at the table)
Picard: According to Mr. Data we seem to be repeating
ourselves. Each time I order us on a mission Data
informs me that we have already completed the
mission. Speculations.
Riker: Perhaps we are stuck in some kind of time warp.
Picard: Mr. LaForge?
Geordi: I don't think so sir. Down in engineering every
thing checks out.
Picard: Worf any ideas?
Worf: Perhaps this is a test by some powerful alien
force. We should attack.
Picard: You mean like the Q. Counselor?
Deanna: I don't think so sir. I am sensing a malevolent
presence, but nothing defined or focused.
Picard: Mr. Data you seem to be most familiar with what is
going on. What do you think it is?
Data: I believe it is syndication sir.
Riker: Synda-what?
Data: Syndication.(breathy intake of air) It was a
process that was popular during the old Earth
calendar of the 1960's and 70's but did not
realize its true potential until the 1980's and
90's.
Picard: Data what exactly is this syndication?
Data: It was a process used in the transmitted media
entertainment industry of the late 20th century.
Riker: You mean television.
Data: (another breathy intake of air) Yes sir.
Independent television stations purchased the
right to air new broadcasts in an attempt to
compete with the large networks.
Picard: You make it sound like it was a good thing Data.
Data: I believe it was sir. It allowed programs with
broad national appeal but poor nielson results to
remain on the air.
Riker: Nielson results?
Picard: Yes Number One the nielson results, I remember
reading about them in history. Homes full of
mindless people selecting what the nation would
watch, an interesting study in statistics. Mr.
Data, if this process was so good then what went
wrong.
Data: Unlike the big networks of the time who controlled
production and made sure a new episode appeared
each week during the television season, the
syndicates were at the mercy of the production
studios who were not under the pressure to turn
out something new on a weekly basis.
Picard: And you think that is what happened to us.
Data: It would seem most likely sir. Have you never
wondered why the stardates do not go in order?
Picard: Data how do we combat this syndication.
Data: At the source sir.
Riker: Where is the source Data.
Data: Paramount studios Los Angeles California Earth, in
the Sol system.
Picard: Yes Data I know where Earth is. Set course for
Earth warp factor nine. Mr. Worf dispatch
communication to Star Fleet Command informing them
of what we have learned and what we intend to do
about it. Number One report to sick bay.
dismissed.
(Cut to commercial, after two minutes of tedium we
return to the bridge every one is at their
station)
Data: Approaching Earth sir.
Picard: On main viewer, reduce speed to impulse power.
(Shot of main view screen, Image of Earth rotating
slowly against a field of stars. Cut back to
Riker)
Riker: If thats Earth where is the Star base?
Picard: Data scan for the Star base.
Data: Star base not present sir. this is 20th century
Earth. The Star base will not be built for
another 200 years.
Picard: I see, assume standard orbit Mr. Data, have you
located Paramount Studios yet?
Data: Yes sir. Coordinates have been transmitted to
transporter room three.
Picard: (to ceiling) Picard to engineering.
Geordi: (from ceiling) LaForge here sir.
Picard: Mr. LaForge, Commander Riker, Mr. Worf, Data and
myself are beaming down to locate the source of
the trouble. You have the con.
Geordi: Aye sir, I'll be right up.
Picard: (heading towards turbo lift) Gentlemen.
(Cut to transporter room)
Picard: Chief O'Brian do you have the coordinates Mr. Data
sent down?
O'Brian:Coordinates locked in sir, ready when you are.
Riker: Keep close tabs on us, if theres trouble we may
need to leave quickly.
O'Brian:Don't worry sir I'll have you out of there before
you finish your sentence.
Picard: Do you really think thats necessary Number One?
Riker: Just a precaution sir.
Picard: Very well Number One. But you should realize
after all these years that I can talk us out of
anything.
Riker: (crestfallen) Yes sir.
Picard: Good. Energize.
(Image of away team vanishing, cut to Enterprise
bridge, image of away team materializing)
Picard: (confused, touching his communicator) Mr. O'Brian
are you sure you had the right coordinates? We
seem to be on the bridge.
O'Brien:(from thin air) Coordinates confirmed sir. You
should be smack dab in the middle of Paramount.
Riker: (Grinning) Remarkable.
Picard: Remarkable indeed. Data any ideas.
Data: This seems to be a facsimile sir, the purpose of
which eludes me.
(part of the bridge slides away exposing several
people, cameras and lights)
Justman:Good, your early and in costume, (walking over to
Worf) Wow Mike they did a really good job on you
today. I can't even tell where the prosthesis
stops and you start, good makeup.
Worf: Klingons do not wear makeup.
Justman:Good line, maybe we can get Dorothy to write that
into one of the scripts. Looks like everyone is
just about ready. Is Marinna here?
Sirtis: (from back stage) Back here, I'm all set.
Justman:Ok good. (turning back to camera and sound crew)
We'll start with scene six, maybe we can get a few
extra feet shot today. Camera and sound check.
Riker: (to Picard) Whats going on here. These people
seem to know us.
Picard: So it seems.
Riker: What should we do?
Picard: Lets play along with them for a while perhaps we
can learn something.
Worf: Must we sir? After that insult about makeup?
Picard: Mr. Worf we are here to find the cause of this
syndication thing. This seems as good a place to
start as any.
Data: Sir I am picking up power emanations nearby.
Picard: Try and pinpoint the location.
Justman:Ok folks were starting on scene six. Since we
rehearsed it yesterday I'd like to see if we can
shoot it in one take. Places everybody.
(several people take their places on the set.
Picard and co. remain huddled)
Justman:(to Picard) Well what are you waiting for.
Riker: Just what exactly are we to do?
Justman: What did you boys do? Stay up too late drinking
Romulan ale?
Riker: Romulan ale is illegal.
Justman:(eyeing Riker) Right. You want to take your
places so we can start?
Picard: What places are those?
Justman:(exasperated) This some kind of a joke? You the
ring leader Pat? Ok I'll bite, Captain sits in
the Captains seat, Riker sits beside him, Worf at
ops and Data at the helm. Got it?
(The crew takes their positions)
Justman:Ok, quiet on the set, roll tape and action.
(the turbo lift doors open with a rumble instead
of a whoosh and Marinna Sirtis steps out in her
blue gown)
Picard: Counselor what are you doing here, I didn't order
you to beam down.
Justman:Cut. What do you mean asking her what she's doing
here. This is scene six remember, you have an
alien ship on the view screen, you're trying to
establish communications so you order Troi here to
help.
Data: There is nothing on the view screen.
Justman:Your in on this too Brent? Of course theres
nothing on the screen, imagery gets added later
you know that. Can we try this again?
(after a pause) Quiet on the set. Roll tape and
action.
(again the turbo lift doors open and Sirtis steps
out making her way to her chair)
Picard: (playing along) Mr. Worf open hailing frequencies.
Counselor are you getting anything?
Sirtis: The Alderberans are apprehensive of our presence,
they are uncertain of our motives.
Picard: Mr. Worf have you established communications yet?
Worf: This equipment looks just like the ones on the
Enterprise but does nothing. Communication is
impossible.
Justman:(loudly)Cut. Ok I get it we're on Bloopers and
Practical jokes right. Everybody take five until
these jokers want to do this right.
(Justman wanders away muttering, Marinna joins
him)
Justman:Did you know anything about this?
(Marinna shrugs and shakes her head no as they
wander off)
Picard: Gentlemen in my ready room.
(Picard heads for the ready room and walks full
force into the doors causing the set to shake)
Picard: (rubbing an injured nose) What's wrong with this
thing.
Data: (with tricorder in hand) These look like the doors
on the Enterprise but are not, I detect no
mechanism. Perhaps you could slide it open with
your hand.
(Riker places his palm on the door and pushes
sideways, with a rumble the door opens and they
pass through descending the curved ramp to the
ready room only to find themselves behind the set
wooden truss members and beams stand exposed along
with gobs of electrical wiring.)
Picard: Analysis Mr. Data.
Data: This mock up and what we just participated in
seems to be for Electronic Transmission Media
Entertainment.
Riker: You mean television.
Data: Did I not just say that?
Riker: (to Data) Right. (to Picard) What do we do now?
Picard: Quite so Number One, what do we do? Mr. Data have
you determined the location of those power
emanations?
Data: The source of the power emanations is 500 meters
west of our present position sir.
Picard: Lead the way Mr. Data.
(Cut to commercial after 2 more tedious minutes we
return. The Enterprise crew follows Data through
Paramount studios, the word "intriguing" escapes
his lips many times. Their search finally ends at
a building marked "Paramount Post Production
Facility")
Data: Power emanations are within this building sir.
Picard: And you believe this to be the source of the
syndication?
Data: I would bet my life on it, if I had one.
Picard: (noticing the troubled look on Riker's face) What
seems to be the trouble Number One?
Riker: Captain we're about to face an unknown that could
have tremendous impact on our lives. I just
couldn't help wishing Ensign Crusher were with us
right now.
Picard: Yes indeed.(smiling) Mr. Crusher could figure a
way of getting us out of this, unfortunately we
don't have time to go to the Academy to get him.
Worf: Perhaps if we played Commander Rikers game he
would come.
Riker: We already used that one. Besides I threw it
away.
Picard: We'll just have to muddle through on our own then.
Worf: It is a good day to die.
Riker: (muttering) Tomorrow would be better.
(The away team enters the building and follow a
long corridor with many labeled doors on each
side, they come to a door at the end of the
hallway)
Data: Power emanations are located beyond that door.
Picard: Very well then, phasers on stun lets go.
(they step through the door only to find
themselves in a modest 1950's style living room.
A red headed woman is having an emotional
discussion with a cuban man)
Riker: There seems to be something wrong with my eyes
Data: It is called black and white, obviously pre 1964
Woman: Bwaaaaaa Ricky how come you won't let me be in
your show Bwaaaaaa.
Ricky: Lucy we've discussed this a thousand times, you
can't be on the show.
Lucy: But Ricky why not Bwaaaaaaaa.
Picard: Excuse me I'm Jean Luc Picard of the Star Ship
Enterprise. We are trying to locate the source of
the syndication. Can you help us.
Ricky: Can't you see I'm having a discussion with my
wife. Just what are you doing in my living room
any way? Get out of here.
Data: Through this door sir.
Lucy: Bwwwaaaaaaa.
(They pass through the door and find themselves on
a well manicured lawn in front of an impressive
mansion. A tall man in shorts and a flowered
shirt with a bushy moustache and a Detroit Tigers
cap is leaning against a red Farrari)
Man: Hi there, you must be Higgins' friends, He's up at
the main house. I can take you there if you like.
(a short man with dark hair and Khaki shirt and
pants approaches)
Higgins:Oh my god Magnum, what are you and these hooligans
doing? Going to a masquerade party?
Magnum: Hooligans Higgins? I thought these were friends
of yours.
Higgins:You must be joking, I can assure you these are no
friends of mine. Although this one (indicating
Worf) reminds me of the time I was with the 5th
regiment pulling garrison duty in the Belgian
Congo. Dixby and I, a good chap Dixby, were out
foraging in the underbrush, of course we were well
fed, the Queen mother takes care of her own but
military food tends to ruin the palette. Any way
there we were trying to flush out some game when
we came upon one of the natives, a magnificent
fellow, resplendent in war garb.
Magnum: Higgins
Higgins:Don't interrupt me Magnum, (to Picard) He's really
quite crude you know. Well this chap turned out
to be a marvelous hunter and we became fast
friends. He made our stay much more enjoyable.
Magnum: Higgins don't you think we should find out what
these fellow want?
Higgins:Yes quite. I'll leave that up to you, your in
charge of security around here. Just stay off the
tennis courts and out of the wine cellar.
Magnum: Ta ta Higgins.
Higgins:Really.
Magnum: Don't mind Higgins he's not a bad sort once you
get to know him.(extending his hand) Thomas Magnum
Private Investigator.
Picard: Jean Luc Picard Captain of the Star Ship
Enterprise.
Magnum: (smirking) I thought that was supposed to be James
T. Kirk
Picard: (to Riker) He smirks almost as well as you do
Number One.
Data: (to Magnum) Actually there was a James Kirk who
commanded a Constitution Class Star Ship named
Enterprise. We are from the Galaxy Class
Enterprise a much later design.
Magnum: (still smirking) And whats this, a Romulan
(indicating Worf).
Worf: Grrrrrr.
Picard: At ease Lieutenant.
Worf: But must I take such an insult?
Picard: I'm sure no insult was intended.
Magnum: Wait Rick and T. C. put you up to this didn't
they?
Riker: Rick? T. C.? Mr. Magnum we are looking for the
source of the syndication. Can you help us?
Magnum: (chuckling) Oh syndication of course. Well if you
find it let me know. (walking off) Rick and T. C.
those guys'll do anything to get me (chuckle).
Picard: Suggestions.
Data: Power emanations are leading towards the beach.
Picard: Lets go.
(As they set foot on the beach a change takes
place, the mansion and grounds disappear and a
jungle takes their place. The crew finds
themselves face to face with a skinny man wearing
a red shirt and a sailors cap)
man: (stiff with terror at the sight of Worf)
sk..sk..skipper (he whispers). Skipper (this time
shouting)
(a heavy man in a blue shirt and captains hat
comes running out of the brush)
Skipper:I'm coming little buddy.
(He stops short at the sight of Picard and crew)
Skipper:Why they're people Gilligan
Gilligan: I know they're people but what's that (pointing to
Worf)
Picard: Mr. Worf is one of my crew.
Skipper:You here that Gilligan, one of his crew. Don't
you know what this means.
Gilligan: Yeh he's going to eat us.
Skipper: No stupid (thumping Gilligan with his hat). It
means we're rescued.
Gilligan: Oh maybe I should go tell the others.
Skipper:Run along Gilligan.
Gilligan: (Running through the brush) Professor, Mary
Anne, Ginger, Mr. Howell, Mrs. Howell we're
rescued.
Skipper:Don't mind Gilligan he just gets a little excited
some times. Boy its good to see people again, do
you know how long we've been here, I some times
forget myself.
Picard: Actually Mr. uh
Skipper:Grumby, Jonas Grumby but everybody calls me
Skipper.
Picard: Yes Mr. Grumby. We are here to locate the source
of the syndication.
Skipper:Well I don't know about any syndication but I bet
the Professor could help. He knows all about this
Island. Follow me.
(They make their way to a small compound with
thatched huts and bamboo furniture.)
Gilligan: See I told you. Big horny head and fangs blech.
Professor: Why its a Homo Erectus Klingonus, I never
thought to see one around here.
Mr. Howell: Looks like a Yale man to me.
Worf: Klingons are not Yale men.
Mrs. Howell: Of all the impudence.
Mr. Howell: Well perhaps Dartmouth then.
Ginger: (sidling up to Riker and running her hands over
his chest) Is it true your going to rescue us.
Riker: (Smirking) Any assistance we can offer.
Picard: Number One really. She's not even an Alien,
you'll never break Kirk's record that way.
Riker: Sorry sir, just trying to stay in practice.
Picard: there'll time enough for that later, right now we
need to find the syndication.
Skipper: Thats right Professor, they said they were
looking for something called the syndication.
Professor: Syndication?
Data: Our ship is trapped by a force that makes us
repeat things over and over again. We believe the
source to be the syndication.
Professor:(to Data) I don't believe I recognize your species.
Data: I'm an android sir.
Professor: Remarkable. This syndication, do you know what
it looks like.
Data: Negative. We have been following power emanations
that led us here. We hoped you would be able to
assist us.
Professor: I don't know about a syndication. But what
you've said has made sense. I've had the feeling
I've been doing the same things over and over
again for the past thirty years. You may want to
try the other side of the Island, you may find
what your looking for there.
Picard: Thank you Professor and good luck.
Professor: By all means and good luck to you.
(Cut again to commercial some people use the
bathroom, others go to the refrigerator after
another 2 minutes we return. As the away team
makes its way across the island the terrain
changes from lush forest to scrub brush and sand
dotted by large rocks)
Riker: You know Captain Its almost as if we're on one of
our own holo decks.
Picard: hmmm I've had the same feeling myself the way the
terrain keeps changing.
Worf: Captain look.
Picard: What is it Mr. Worf?
Worf: It appears to be a space ship sir.
Picard: Data?
Data: Confirmed Captain, Power emanations are coming
from beneath the craft.
(The ship is a silver saucer shaped vessel half
buried in the sand with one large window in the
front. As they approach the ship they see 3 men 2
women a girl a boy and a robot. All are working
except for one man lounging in the shade. One of
the women goes up to one of the men and takes hold
of his arm and points at the away team)
Woman: John look.
John: Well I'll be.
(they all drop what they are doing and approach
the party)
John: Welcome to our camp. I'm Professor John Robinson,
this is my wife (indicating the older woman) my
daughter Judy (indicating the attractive blond) my
daughter Penny (indicating a teenage brunette) and
my son Will (the boy). Thats Don West my pilot
and navigator.
Don: And that useless lump of flesh is Dr. Smith.
Smith: After all the times I've tried to help and this is
the thanks I get.
Don: Help? If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be in this
mess at all.
Smith: Oh the pain the pain.
John: Enough Don, beating up on him won't help. Oh and
yes of course our robot.
Picard: Greetings, I'm Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Star
Ship Enterprise.
Picard: (continude) This is my first Officer William
Riker, Lt. Commander Data and Lieutenant Worf my
tactical Officer.
Riker: (smirking) Judy.
Judy: (smiling) Commander.
Don: Grrrrrr.
Worf: Spoken like a true Klingon
Picard: Enough, Will haven't we already discussed this.
Will: But we just met sir.
Picard: I meant the other Will.
Riker: Sorry sir but I thought she might be alien.
John: You said you were from a Star Ship. How did you
get here thats supposed to be on NBC.
Data: We believe it has to do with the syndication.
Don: (to Data) Just what are you anyway.
Data: I am an android sir.
Will: Oh boy an android, thats beats a robot any old
day.
Robot: Warning! Danger Will Robinson.
(Will pulls the robots power pack)
Robot: Dangerrrrrr(slump)
Don: Well Captain it looks like we have something in
common, we both have robots.
Data: I am an android not a robot.
Don: Semantics.
Will: (to Data) Do you want to go mess with alien
machines?
John: I'm sure Data has other duties to attend to.
Will: But dad he's an android.
John: Why don't you and the robot go play.
Will: Oh all right. (plugging in power pack) Come on
robot lets go.
Robot: Danger! Warning!
Will: Don't worry robot you're still my best friend.
Robot: Shall we play melt down on Solaris 5?
Will: (leaving with robot) Sure but do you think you can
get Deutronium ore to critical mass?
John: What was it you were saying about a syndicate?
Data: We have been forced to repeat the same things over
and over again. The only logical explanation is
the syndication. Our readings indicate that it is
in or below your vessel.
Mrs. Robinson: In the Jupiter two
Data: We have reason to believe so yes.
John: What your looking for may be in the engine room.
For as long as I've been on this show I never
could understand how a ship this small could have
such an enormous engine room.
Picard: Professor do you mind if we have a look around?
John: Not at all, I'll show you the way.
(They enter the Jupiter two, it does indeed seem
larger on the inside than on the outside. they go
to the lower level 1 at a time on a tiny elevator)
Picard: You have a most impressive vessel
John: You haven't seen anything yet (he opens a hatch)
come in here.
(They pass through the hatch and enter an engine
room much too large for the size of the ship)
John: What did I tell you.
Picard: This room is indeed too large for the size of your
ship. Mr. Data any ideas?
Data: Yes sir. The engine room was not featured until
later episodes. By that time it was too late to
change the outward appearance. So they added this
room and hoped no one would notice.
John: That makes sense.
Picard: Data can you locate the source of the emanations?
Data: they are coming from behind this hatch.
John: Another hatch? I never noticed that before.
Picard: Can you open it Data?
(Data pulls the hatch away exposing a passage way
to another room)
Data: The source of our troubles is in there.
Picard: Thank you for your assistance Professor Robinson,
good luck to you and your family.
John: My pleasure Captain, good luck to you as well.
Picard: Let us proceed gentlemen
(As they pass through the hatch they find
themselves in a room with hundreds of television
screens, each playing endless reruns of old shows
A man in a three piece suit is frantically working
the equipment, he looks up and sees Picard and
crew)
Man: Your too late, too late. haa haaa haaa haaa haaa.
Data: As I suspected.
Picard: You recognize him Data?
Data: Yes sir. That is Brendan Tartikoff, President of
NBC.
Picard: The man responsible for killing Star Trek?
Data: Not directly no.
Tartikoff: You thought you could take it away from me
didn't you, but you were wrong. One little
mistake, just one little mistake. We would have
made it up to you but you went with someone else.
All that profit should have been mine, MINE, but
now you will pay.
Picard: This must be the malevolent presence Counselor
Troi felt. (hitting his communicator) Picard to
Enterprise.
Communicator: Enterprise here sir.
Picard: We've found a man in a state of psychosis, please
send down Dr. Crusher.
Communicator: Affirmative Captain, She's on her way.
(moments later Beverly appears in the room)
Picard: Dr. that man needs help, can you do anything?
Beverly:I'll see what I can do.
Picard: Mr. Data is this equipment the cause of our
troubles
Data: Yes sir it must be destroyed.
Picard: Dr. How are you coming.
Beverly:With difficulty Jean Luc. This man is not Human.
Picard: Not Human?
Beverly:No sir. He appears to be Ferengi.
Riker: That explains things.
Picard: Well then get him out of the way, we have work to
do.
Beverly:(touching communicator) Enterprise, two to beam
directly to sick bay.
(in flashes and sparkles the two disappear)
Picard: Mr. Data, how do we destroy this thing.
Data: A concentrated Phaser blast just to the right of
that Dolphin should do the trick.
Picard: Proceed.
(in unison the quartet draws their phasers and
blasts at the point indicated by data. Over the
whine of the phasers they hear."Flipper, Flipper,
king of the ocean snap, sizzle, crackle, pop
KAAABOOOOM". The blast knocks them all against
the wall the screens then go dead)
Picard: Anybody hurt?
Riker: I don't think so.
Data: Fully functional sir.
Picard: Mr. Worf are you injured
Worf: I am fine sir.
Riker: Yeah, well you wouldn't tell us any way.
(Picards communicator trills)
Picard: (slapping communicator) Picard here what is it
Enterprise
Communicator: LaForge here sir, I don't know what you did
sir but we're reading a static warp bubble and its
shrinking rapidly.
Picard: Any danger to the ship?
Geordi :I should say so sir, if or should I say when it
hits the antimatter pods we go boom.
Picard: How much time?
Geordi: About 5 minutes sir.
Riker: Thats what he must of meant when he said it was
too late.
Picard: Beam us directly to the bridge.
Geordi: Aye sir.
(Within moments their vision begins to sparkle,
when it returns to normal they are on the bridge)
Picard: Mr. Data see if that wall moves.
Data: The wall is solid sir.
Picard: do the doors work?
Data: Yes sir, all doors read as functional
Picard: Good then we're in the right place. How much time
do we have.
Spock: 4 minutes 30 seconds Captain.
Picard: Spock? What are you doing here? You're supposed
to be on Romulus
Spock: Apparently not since I am here.
Picard: What happened to Riker.
Spock: I am unable to answer that question since I don't
know of whom you speak.
Picard: Commander Riker, my First Officer
Spock: I am First Officer of the Enterprise.
Picard: I don't understand.
Data: It is due to the destruction of the syndication
and the warp bubble sir. We are merging with the
old series.
Checkov:Yes syndication a Russian Inwention.
Picard: How do we stop the warp bubble?
Spock: A force chamber implosion of the matter antimatter
reactor at magnitude six should dispel the bubble
with little danger to the ship.
Picard: Will it work
Spock: I don't see why not, we used to do it all the
time.
Picard: Make it so. How long will it take?
Spock: I'm feeding the formulas to engineering now.
Intercom: Captin ya gotta talk ta tha crazy Vulcan, me
poor wee bairns canna take the strain.
Picard: (to ceiling) Who is this and what happened to my
chief engineer Mr. LaForge.
Intercom: This is Lt. Commander Scott sair, an I'm Chief
engineer on tha Enterprise.
Data: More results of the bubble sir.
Picard: Well Mr. Scott or who ever you think you are. just
be ready to act on those formulas on my order.
Scotty: But sair, tha engines canna take the poundin',
theres no knowin what she'll do.
Picard: Dammit Scotty we're running out of time, (mumbling
to himself) how did Kirk ever put up with that
man.
Scotty: Aye sair, we'll be ready.
(As the build up to reaction takes place the
Enterprise begins to shake violently)
Intercom: (mans voice) Can't you folks keep it still up
there, my god I have a patient down here who needs
rest.
Picard: Who is this.
Intercom: This is your Chief Medical Officer who do you
think it is.
Picard: My Chief Medical Officer is supposed to be a
woman.
Intercom: Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor not a Transvestite.
Leonard McCoy is Chief Medical Officer aboard the
Enterprise. Now stop shaking this thing will you.
Picard: I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Spock: Count down to Implosion beginning now. 5. 4. 3. 2.
1.
Picard: Engage.
(As the reaction takes over, a blinding white
light surrounds the Enterprise, as it diminishes
the Enterprise floats silently on a back ground of
studded velvet)
Picard: (to ceiling) Picard to sick bay, Dr. McCoy how is
our visitor doing.
Intercom: (Beverly's voice) McCoy sir?
Picard: Sorry Dr.. Hows our guest.
Beverly:He's gone sir, he must have been connected to the
bubble some how.
Picard: I see. Mr. Spock Status please.
Riker: Beg your pardon sir? Spocks on Romulus.
Picard: Oh, sorry Number One. Whats our condition?
Riker: Minor damage to some of the energy conduits on
decks 3 through 17. But nothing we can't handle.
Picard: (to ceiling) Engineering
intercom: LaForge her sir.
Picard: (muttering) good thing I waited.
Intercom: What's that sir?
Picard: Nothing commander, how's status down their?
Intercom: She's purring like a kitten sir.
Picard: Very good. Mr. Data take us home, warp factor six
Data: Warp factor six Aye sir.
Picard: Engage.
(Shot of Enterprise from space, as the end credits
roll by neon blue increases around the warp
nacelles, the ship moves forward and vanishes with
a bright white flash)
THE END
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