How to Play Fisties

by darrel the retarded negro

Most fights that happen in real life are probably not what you'd expect - the fighters, and definitely male ones, stiffen up, go bright red, clench their teeth, their eyes bulge and tear, virtually everything they do is rigid and spontaneous, they are often very close together with no room for proper punches, their arms flail, they don't have any guard and they only move spontaneously, when they get pushed (and the other one follows), or when they push, just stuff like that. They have no real stance, either. They will choke, pull ties, claw, and show raw emotion, most of the time just scared, embarrassed, and pissed off. This, my friend, is sloppy bullshit, mostly caused by adrenaline dump, fear, and little experience. These fights can come off looking more disturbing to watch then proper fights because you'd think by the way they acting they are rolling around on the floor knife-fighting to death.

What you need, is proper stance (balance, and to strike properly), guard (defending yourself, and striking properly), and you need space between you and your opponent, and you need to be moving around properly. Remember that once you're on the floor, its pretty much all over. So its good for you if you get your opponent on the floor, then do to them what is the reason why going to the floor is the worst thing that can happen! You will also have to get it through your head that this is a fight and it doesn't matter who the person is and what happened before the fight (just make sure it's a fight), try not to feel awkward about it, you should also not hunch or slouch (unless of course, its necessary like for punching and guarding) stand up straight at your full height and puff out so your are as tall and broad as possible, put your guard up and be moving around, be confident, don't worry what other people are thinking or whether you think you look stupid just focus on kicking ass. Remove the empathy between the two of you where you are shy and afraid of getting hurt or hurting the opponent. With most people fighting like how I explained above if you are fighting like this then they probably get scared and realise they're fighting someone who knows what they're doing and is trying and going to actually hurt them. Since they will rely on getting very close to your and using sloppy, cowardly techniques you need to always be moving on your feet so you can keep that moderate distance between you and them and then move into range for attack and quickly move out again. Remember to keep your stance, they probably won't even know about stance, check theirs to see if its shit if it is just over balance them. Keep your eyes on your opponents eyes this way you always know where they are going to strike (you can see where they're looking!) and your opponent won't be able to see where you are going to strike because your looking at them! Punch and withdraw quickly because you don't want an opportunity for them to get in close range with you, and move your whole body in and out of range quickly, don't just walk in there, once you get into close range with a cowardly fighter its hard to get out again and it will just be sloppy crap! People will try and pull all sorts of shit when they get a hold of your arms like locks and twists and trying to over balance you, don't let this happen! And don't try and learn and carry out that complicated shit yourself, there's no time for it in a real fight and you won't be able to do it with the adrenaline and everything, just keep it short and sweet.

Have a guard up, with one arm, usually your right, more horizontal protecting your torso/chest area and the other, usually the left, up so the fist and wrist protects the throat and chin area. The right comes forward to punch while the rest of your body swings back, twisting your hips behind the punch. The left can jab and distract. Even with no hips behind the punch, the punching up should curl and rear back before the strike to put as much weight as possible with out torso/body behind the punch (this should only happen when absolutely necessary or when its practically impossible to get your torso or your body behind the punch).

Make sure your fist is packed like this

http://user.mc.net/~hugh/fist-gojuryu.gif

With the thumb underneath and everything

Have the first two fingers protruding forward a little bit, trust me, you do not want to over do this. So that the finger with the fattest knuckle is forward the most. This will make the punch more effective and help to absorb the shock. Keep your wrist flat. Don't hook you'll only loose power. Instead straight punch and swing your torso, use your hips to put weight behind the punch.

For a devastating punch get a few steps of run up, stay loose and not tense while you rear your hips back and then step into a wide stance (not too wide, you'll know what's wide enough) and swing your torso and your entire body weight behind the punch as you step into the stance. Tense up as you come into the strike. Don't make this sloppy, have a firm technique on this (but only tense up when you come into the strike). Remember not to lock your elbow. Instead tense the elbow joint just before it locks.

Remember the weak places on the body: the throat, the eyes, the chin, the mouth, the solar plexus (the spongy bit below where the sternum ends and in between the two sets of floating ribs), the groin, and one that barely gets mentioned, the bladder area just below the stomach. This is usually paper thin and often never gets strengthened through most workouts. The stomach can also be a weak area, but the muscles will probably be tense in the fight. Make sure you don't get hit in any of these weak and disabling areas.

Move around on your feet! `dance' on your toes like boxers do, you should be constantly moving even just a little on the one spot. You will move quickly into the necessary stances. There should be space between you and your opponent, but obviously when you punch you need to be in range, so you move into close quarters and into the proper stance and retreat again, quickly when you are `dancing' on your toes. When your opponent strikes, its probably a good idea to avoid contact whatsoever and dart out of the way with your body rather then having to make contact when you block. But when you do have to block, use the left arm that's up around your face to catch the punch (with the limb itself, not your hand or anything). That way when you do this your torso swings back a little so you can snap back and counter-punch with your right. If the punch is near your torso this is a good way to block, if around your face then thrust your arm up. If the strike is around your groin area swing your arm down and thrust it out of the way.

These are good punches they will be hard and might stun and scare your opponent so if this happens, keep fucking going! Smack him as many times as you can, move on your feet, keep shuffling forward while you do this and still make sure your punches are in and out quickly.

Remember that kicks can be devastating and are longer ranged! They are good for striking the groin and bladder area. Shins, well it sounds dirty but it works also the heels on the knee caps. Just remember kicks put you off balance a little so don't mess up your balance too much and don't let your kicks becomes leavers for dropping you on your arse! In and out quickly. If you do get on the floor try your best to get up quickly again (like rolling out of the way and springing up) and you should probably start nailing your opponent in the nuts if you're down on the floor.

Experience is the most important thing, you do need to learn this stuff though, I learnt it in martial arts. I have experience in practising this, and sparring and bag work with it, but, I admit, not a lot of real-fight experience with it. Which means its probably a lot less useful for me! If you do have experience in real-life, serious fights then you can learn this and it should be easy to do. Anyway, it shouldn't take too much experience to fight properly, just enough so you've gotten over the raw; fear, adrenaline rush, sloppiness, empathy, etc. Remember to get real, fight properly even if it is a school yard fight and calm the fuck down because you aren't going to die! Don't pussy out. If it's more serious, then be more lethal about it, and remember that shitting yourself will only increase your chances of getting killed!

And remember, I'm not responsible for anything you do.