The Perfect Yoni Massage
by Jeffery
Yoni (pronounced YO-NEE) is a Sanskrit word for the vagina that
is loosely translated as "Sacred Space" or "Sacred Temple." It's
meaning and use is an alternate perspective from the Western view
of the female genitals (i.e., Pussy, Cunt, Twat, etc., words which
may or may not be complimentary depending on the intent of their
usage). In Tantra, the Yoni is seen from a perspective of love and
respect. This is especially helpful for men to learn.
The purpose of the Yoni Massage is to create a space for the
woman (the receiver) to relax, and enter a state of high arousal and
experience much pleasure from her Yoni. Her partner (the giver)
experiences the joy of being of service and witnessing a special
moment. The Yoni Massage can also be used as a form of safer sex
(when latex gloves are used) and is an excellent activity to build
trust and intimacy. Some massage and sex therapists use it to assist
women to break through sexual blocks or trauma.
The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a
pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure
and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver
and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving
something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded,
more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or
not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just
allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself
afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it
should be entirely the receiver's choice. This perspective will build
greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual
horizons.
PREPARATION
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A
quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc.,
or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow
yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results
will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will
avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go
to the bathroom.
Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking
into each other's eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you
to a place of safety and relaxation.
PROCEDURE
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so
she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver).
Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to
be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions
under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for
the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers' legs. The giver
may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full
access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing.
Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply,
slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will
gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver
stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not
hyperventilating, is very important here.
Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the
receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.
Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound
of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips
and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual
lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops,
sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants. My favorite is Yoni
Play from Looking Good Enterprises.)
Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni.
Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the
massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index
finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the
same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.
The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and
continue breathing deeply.
It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other's eyes as
much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure,
speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your
speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my
experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and
diminishes the effects.)
Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise
circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this
as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will
undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to
just relax and breathe.
Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right
hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as
opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra.). Very
gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/vagina with this
finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways.
Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage
and you're nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni,
move the middle finger in a "come here" gesture or crook back
towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just
under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in
Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into
detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to
urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure,
speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back
and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert
the finger that's between your middle finger and pinky. Check with
your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most
women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased
stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle.
You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as
well.
An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinky of the
right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinky
into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication
and be very gentle.
(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinky is in her anus, the next
finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on
your clitoris, "You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe
in your hand.")
So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to
massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the
clitoris it's usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion,
with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound.
The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much
pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand
to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the
receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of
the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the
intent as well.
Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions.
Keep breathing and looking into each other's eyes. She may have
powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and
be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be
healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to
her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if
she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In
Tantra this is called "riding the wave."
Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni
Massage and a very patient partner.
Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and
with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and
enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is
very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage
your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal
about feminine sexuality.
There is a similar massage for men called the Lingam Massage.
Lingam is a Sanskrit word for the penis that means, "Wand of
Light." I will post it some other time.
Namaste,
Jeffery
"You are the passage through which time flows. You are the emptiness
that holds all space. You are the center that is everywhere, turning
on itself in an endless dance of ecstasy." -- Judith Whitman-Small
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