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When Will It Stop?


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It started 8 years ago. I had been reading buddhist literature and was thinking and discussing the idea of a re-incarnation of the buddha with a few people. Weird things had been happening. No doubt exacerbated by crazy circumstances: intermittent homelessness, shifting between different social groups (or non-social groups as it may have been), and wild techno dance events. And yes, unfortunately there was a drug component although I feel it was not that significant.

The surveillance - call it what you may - started with I believe a small group of people.

Not long afterwards something must have happened. I beleive what happened was that they got noticed.

Due to my unfortunate use of illegal substances I believe that eventually there was also involvement by the DEA or possibly the FBI. This was out of hand, I was at the center, and it sucked. I had no say or influence in the mattter. All the weird religious overtones - I don't know what to make of but the bottom line is it doesn't matter and even if it did it doesn't or wouldn't now.

I believe in supernatural phenomena and have witnessed such events a number of times. I do think that there is more to reality than meets the eye but to me this is part of the fabric of the universe and has nothing to do whatsoever with any particular person. To me Christ and Buddha are powerful concepts. They are concepts and while if they are true their implication upon our lives might be great yet at the same time there is not much that any person can or should do differently. Shouldn't each person always be focusing on doing their best in the world?

No one should ever make another person's life their business, for any reason. The only times we see this happening, or in which it even comes close to being sanctioned, in this modern world is when the government is monitoring a suspected criminal. A criminal under investigation is often subjected to various forms of surveillance including wiretapping, being tailed, and having their conversations remotely monitored.

I know that there is some crap going on. This is beyond doubt. I have ideas as to what sorts of people or groups may be involved. I want nothing to do wiht any of them. I also demand that I be compensated. I have been ripped off, have had my privacy cruelly taken away. The effect on my life has been one of mostly devastation though perhaps you are too blind to see it. Or maybe that's what ultimately you want?

I am not a narc. In fact, I've sat in jail before precisely because I did not narc on people. I resent anyone accusing me of being a narc. Yet I want nothing to do whatsoever with anyone or groups involved with drugs or crime. This includes the great California marijuana cartel and all their influence. Furthermore, there is no excuse for some of the low-life scum out there who do happen to be dealing and also want to mess with me.

There seem to be several angles on what has happened and is happening. Several different groups. And I notice the power struggles between them as they play off one another. And I am the one getting screwed over in the middle. I have become some sort of pawn in the middle of a society of ignorant fools who can't sort out their own problems and have used me.

And there are also the fanatic people out there who find me charming or whatever yet I don't find having my ideas and artistic output ripped off to be quaint. I don't find this atrocity to be a cute thing or a fun pastime. In fact I'm really pissed about it and you bastards owe me alot more than just a lot of cash. But I want the cash. I deserve it. And, rather than put a bullet in my head as I've considered many times in this trapped situation I will rather live to face you and wait for the day when all this bullsh_t will be revealed and people can know what I've gone through. In the meantime, I want compensation...

 
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